Chapter Kathy: Not Everyone Has to Love You and Why That’s Okay

Hi Friends!

All of you know me as that girl with the book blog. If you follow me regularly you may know me as the college freshman with the book blog who has a tendency to make bad jokes and post irregularly.

Yes it’s true that I am all of those things, but something you don’t know about me is that I trust EVERYONE.

  • Gee Kathy should you really blog that on the internet?

Meh I’m a millennial, the internet has not failed me yet.

  • But what about your unhealthy dependency on electronic sources that leads to a decline in interrelational communication on a face-to-face level and a lack of ability to focus on-

Boi, yolo

Anyway, I have always had this irrational frustration where I think that everyone needs to love me. If I even have the slightest hint that someone is not happy with me or that I let someone down it drives me to the brink of insanity. But what I’ve come to learn so far during college is that this idealogy is extremely unhealthy. It grew so bad that I could not focus on anything at all except trying to resolve problems that were not always there in the first place. My turning point came when one of these situations occurred and I was stressing about it so much that I literally would start shaking when I thought about it. I talked to my older sister, who is the wisest person I know and had a discussion with her. It basically led to me realizing that I cannot keep putting myself through this anxiety everytime I think I may not have left a great impression with someone.

If you are having issues with the same thing keep in mind that NOT EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. Sometimes we do things or say things that we do not realize are sending the wrong message to someone and that’s okay (unless of course you purposely offend someone then obviously that is a different case). No one is perfect and no one can do everything. Keep in mind that there are two sides to every story and often there is more than one person contributing to a problem. Try to look at every issue and see what YOU can learn from it because even if you didn’t actually do anything, there is always a takeaway. As my sister told me, and I’m paraphrasing a bit, every problem is as big of a deal as you make it. That is not to devalue what’s happening of course but it’s saying that by taking the extra energy to try your best to not get affected by something small then the long term result will be so much better. Using this thought process has definitely helped me to not waste my time worrying about people not liking me when they are probably not worrying about me at all.

Do any of you do this too? What helps you cope?

Positive Vibes,

Kiss 4

 

 

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